Saturday, March 12, 2011

Dangers of Zombs

Why must we steer clear of those mindless, disgusting creatures? Because they're dangerous. More than dangerous.


If a Zomb Apocolypse really does happen, everywhere you go, danger follows you like a dead-obsessed stalker. The 'safe' word is no more found in our profound dictionaries, only 'survival'.


One of the terms of surviving is knowing what jeopardises your life. In this case, it's zombs. What do they do to jeopardise our life? They make you into one of THEM, one of those idiotic cannibals that has not even one strand of humanity left in them, unlike vamps. They don't have any memories or common sense in them. The only thing they're aware of is how disease-free human like us smell like, and that's exactly how they detect us. After they find us, don't ever head their to their direction, even if you recognise a zomb, don't go, 'Hey, isn't that Daddy?' and run to the zomb direction yelping 'DADDY!', thinking that your used-to-be-daddy will welcome your approach with a warm hug and a peck on the cheek. Don't even dream about that. All you're gonna get is a bite on your skin that will give you the disease, that's all.


There are many ways for the disease to find it's way to you. A bite, scratch, saliva, any in contact with the dirty DNA, and you'll find yourself having a flu and then a killer headache caused by the high fever in the next 4 hours or so. There is NO cure. After suffering for more than 4 hours of pain, it's goodbye to your old life as you emerge as a freshly born, human-flesh-crave zombie.

One of the worse things that can ever happen to someone in life is death, but that's not the worst. The worst is not being able to stay dead, and that leads you to either zombs or vamps. Same thing. They're two types of creatures in this world (some exist only in people's mind), and they're either alive or dead. But somewhere in between, 'undead' popped up. That word means neither dead, nor alive. So, if you're an 'undead', you can say that you're nothing.

There are no strong proof for being an 'undead', and that is why being 'undead' means being a nothing, not existing in people's eyes. Hell, I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say. Okay, they're dangerous. Yea, stick to that.

To give zombs a permenant death, you either slice their head off and kick 'em far, far away like a soccer ball full with cockroaches, or you poke something sharp and hard through their ugly, probably olily and pimpled forehead. Just make sure whatever you do, break their skull. They don't bother much even if you tear their lower part off, continously kicking at their gut or knocking the bonkers out of thier *very sensitive part*. Even if you say something offensive about their moms, they couldn't care less. Only thing they would possibly care about, is YOU.

Cheese n' wedges. Don't flatter yourself. No point to that.

They care about your flesh, not you. So, keep your cool, man. Don't even think about rubbing your whole body with cow or dog poop just so you think that zombs can't smell ya apart. They can and they will. And no, even your own faeces won't work either. But hey, if you used their own personal scent, yea, i'm referring to the 'Zombie Scent', you could walk past them without trouble. That's s tip.

Kay. That's it for now. Smell ya later... or not.

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